YaHWeH's Verdict

Isaiah writes these words about the coming Messiah…
and His discouragement…

“But I said, ‘I've worked for nothing.
I've nothing to show for a life of hard work.
Nevertheless, I'll let God have the last word.
I'll let him pronounce his verdict.’"
Isaiah 49:4 (The Message)

Lord,
You knew discouragement
For what it truly is…
a weariness of heart…
a temptation to quit…
to stop short
of YaHWeH’s goal.

Voicing Your despair
Helped You to hear Your Own heart…
to fully experience Your grief
at our hardened
wounded
tired
ready-to-quit hearts.

The Enemy had earlier tempted
You in the desert…
with food to break Your fast
with power exercised
just for its own sake…
to make You feel
better…
with power used
to make You look more
like YaHWeH’s Messiah…
to bring many to Your
side…
easily…
quickly…
painlessly…
then finally he came at You…
with a simple, direct
command
to bow down
to someone other than
Your Abba…
to work through the
dark power of
earthly kings
to bring about the
YaHWeH-kingdom.

But…I think…we…
Your disciples…were
A harder test than all these…since
We hardly left Your side
For three years…until
it got too real for us
at the end.
We were slow of mind…and
Hard of heart.
Far too often.

Peter…
wanted to stop You
from going to Jerusalem…
he got a dark nickname
for a moment or two…
to go along with “Rock.”
James and John…
wanted to nuke
any who opposed You…and
those “Thunder Boys”
got a nickname as well.
Judas…
stole from the purse…and
always needed more…
“Always Empty.”
Simon…
would go on at times
about all “Roman Dogs”
deserving to die…
“Wild Man.”
Matthew…
would reminisce about
his easier days…
“Party Animal.”
We all…
wondered at the women
You were so quick to teach
who then followed us…
Your mom…she was
to be expected…but
the Magdalene?
the others?
No other Rabbi taught
women so easily.

I know
That we were a strong source
Of discouragement to You…
Often.

Yet…
You never left us…

You seemed to be awaiting
A verdict…from
Where?

I think you were waiting for
YaHWeH’s Words to You…maybe
that’s why You left us
for a few hours
at night…
so often.
What did Your Abba
Say to You?
Did He warn You about us?
Judas?
Your soon coming
Jerusalem-death-days?
Temple-worship-gone-bad?
Demonized Caiaphas?
Fools…like Pilate?
The coming visitation
of YaHWeH-wrath onto
the only One able
to bear it…
to carry it…
to believe through it?
Every bit of it?

Discouragement
Can lead us to either
crush our own heart…our own
heart-desire for You…or…
to faithfully and loyally
await our Abba’s
Verdict
just like You did.