carrying a cross

Lord,
You said we needed to make a choice
to...follow You...or not.

You called us to walk away from ourselves
first...then
pick up a cross...then
follow You.

Letting go of self
is tough...since
the Self doesn’t let go of us…
waking every morning trying
to find us…
call to us…demand from us…
everything it wants.

For the Self will kill friends,
make new enemies…and
destroy our own life
to that It can live…if
we let It win.

You then told us that leaving Self
was not enough…that
we also needed to pick up
our own cross…to be actively
involved in dying
on this planet
in obedience to…
in honor of…
You….a
voluntary thing…not forced…
fresh every morning…noon…and
night.
This means an active search each day,
each moment for the place,
the reason, the person
You
are calling us to die for by
again giving up what we have & are
for the sake of another…for the sake
of Your love.
It means that we begin to bear
Your resemblance
more & more each day…
because we want to.

Then…and only then…
You said, we could
walk the cross-road with You.

The cross-life is weird…
it’s free…with
the only thing tying us down
being love…
Your love moving through
us to others all the time.

The cross-life is strong…since
we give up the right
to own anything that might
cause real damage & hurt to
another…all in Your Name, Lord.
People sometimes walk
all over us…thinking they’re
winning, much like Satan
thot he was conquering You
when You hung bleeding
on Your cross.
He could not understand
that Your freely given death
for YaHWeH’s sake…
was a love-gift…that
would shake the Universe.
Forever.

So, Lord, I keep on
walking away from my old Self…
picking up my own cross…
trying to catch up with You
on the cross-road.

People do stop & stare…
seldom appreciating what
they are seeing…after all,
a man carrying a cross
sticks out
in the crowd.